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That must be the story of innumerable couples， and the pattern of lifeof life it offers has a homely grace。 It reminds you of a placid rivulet， meandering smoohtly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant trees， till at last it falls into the vasty sea; but the sea is so calm， so silent， so infifferent， that you are troubled suddently by a vague uneasiness。 Perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature， strong in me even in those days， that i felt in such an existence， the share of the great majority， something amiss。 I recognized its social value。 I saw its ordered happiness， but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course。 There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights。 In my heart was desire to live more dangerously。 I was not unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous， shoals it I could only have change-change and the exicitement of unforeseen。
这一定是世间无数对夫妻的生活写照，这种生活模式给人一种天伦之美。它使人想起一条平静的溪流，蜿蜒畅游过绿茵的草场，浓荫遮蔽，最后注入烟波浩渺的汪洋大海；但是大海太过平静，太过沉默，太过不动声色，你会突然感到莫名的不安。也许这只是我自己的一种怪诞想法，在那样的时代，这想法对我影响很深：我觉得这像大多数人一样的生活，似乎欠缺了一点儿什么。我承认这种生活有社会价值，我也看到了它那井然有序的幸福，但我血液里的冲动却渴望一种更桀骜不驯的旅程．这样的安逸中好像有一种叫我惊惧不安的东西．我的心渴望一种更加惊险的生活。只要生活中还能有变迁———以及不可知的刺激，我愿意踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖，奔赴暗礁满布的海滩。
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